Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Door Etiquette

Photo: the front end of a vintage car

The History:

There are, in fact, a number of historical reasons behind men holding the door open for women. Today, we will explore the main reasons: the ancient code of chivalry, and female fashion. In order to get to the heart of this custom it makes sense to begin, at well, the beginning. The medieval code of chivalry demanded that knights/gentlemen protect those weaker, or lesser, than themselves.

Also, it should be noted that female fashion has not historically been the most practical. Women wore dresses with corsets, hoop skirts, and many more layers which tended to make it awkward to maneuver about . Women, at times, simply needed help negotiating their way through doorways.


The custom:

When staring down an open door it is not uncommon to hear the statement "ladies first," and so we have arrived at the custom. "Women and children first," applied, originally, in situations where harm or danger was imminent. 

The vulnerable, weaker people would be saved first in this seemingly 'noble' act. For example: on the titanic women and children boarded the life boats first until it was deemed the boats were at capacity

In our modern life of relative safety it is no longer common to find oneself in a situation where harm or danger looms. Women's priority boarding has shifted from the life boats of yesterday, to buildings or cars. Offering to open a door for women is how this tradition evolved.

However, offering to open a car door for a women is a pregnant action. It not only bears all of the historical significance previously discussed, but much more. Men would walk to the passenger door for two reasons: men were the assumed drivers, and women could not always drive cars. These reasons were built upon deeply embedded gendered stereotypes.

The Verdict: LEAVE IT (that door is better left shut)

Anything which is predicated on the fact women are the weaker sex, and can't drive should be left in the past. That being said: I think people, in general, should open the door for everyone.

If someone is right behind you take an extra two seconds and brighten someone's day. But the dated stereotypes and female first mentality should be shut out.

Stay tuned for a new post next week!






12 comments:

  1. I wasn't aware of the history of that custom! But I agree with you! I think people should just be kind to each other and open doors for someone if they are ahead of them!

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    1. Thanks for the comment Patrick! We were talking about this the other day: people should just act 'chivalrous' regardless of their gender and do something nice for another person.

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  2. I completely agree. Why should this common courtesy be saved only for women? The answer is it shouldn't. I think we all need to remember to be decent human beings and hold the door for any man or woman!

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  3. Well it isn't the worst thing to have the door opened for you on a date, it also isn't necessarily a deal breaker if it isn't (if I get to the door first, I am going to open it and hold it for us both).
    I am all for holding the door for everyone one! Cheers to leaving it behind & adopting a new way.

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    1. I would agree it isn't a deal breaker and it's nice to do for someone you care about. As long as the problematic reasons this stated have ceased. But I totally agree with the adopting a new way!

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  4. Hi Fallon,
    I as well had no idea that is where holding the door open for women came from. I agree, I will hold the door open for people no matter the gender- and I do not want the door held for me based on the reasoning of being considered weak!

    Definitely into adopting to new ways!

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  5. Hmm it is interesting, I find personally I would do this for family like my grandma still, but for others like my friends I don't bother opening the door. Could be based on who you interact with I guess

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    1. Interesting perspective, Steven. I agree it's for sure based on who you interact with.

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  6. Respect your opinion that we must show the courtesy to everyone. I have always thought and I still believe this gesture is out of care and respect for the person walking beside or behind you in a given circumstance not because someone is weak to do it by themselves. It is interesting to see how every customs originated, great blogs Fallon.

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    1. Thanks for the comment Ajin, it's really interesting to hear other peoples opinion on this.

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