Flower Etiquette

Photo: A field of daisies

The History:

In Medieval society dating, and courtship rituals were quite different from that of today. First of all, dating was not something that was taken lightly. If a person was spending time with their intended it was as a means to an end not simply 'hanging out'. It would have also been chaperoned. It was of the utmost importance that honour, virtue and chastity (just to be clear we are talking about virginity) were preserved.

For knights who took an oath of chivalry it was their duty to protect and honour those weaker, and lesser than themselves. There also  was specific stipulations about upholding the honour and reputation of women throughout the code itself. Therefore, one could not simply kiss their significant other or tell them how they felt.

This was because:
A). They would never be alone
B). People would speculate something dishonourable was occurring.

Also at this time the concept of love began to make an appearance in the world of relationships. But, it was not necessary as many people still married for reasons of class, wealth, and finding an 'appropriate' match. Many relationships were arranged at the time.

The Custom:

It was from this historical, and social landscape that the concept of giving coded gifts as symbols of affection arose. Since the couple would not be alone together they could, instead, pass notes and gifts to one another. This allowed for intimacy, privacy, and some degree of secrecy in relationships.

Tokens of affection took various forms: actual love tokens, poems, and most notably flowers. The language of flowers (floriography) has existed for thousands of years but was extremely popular in Medieval, and Victorian times. Every flower carried a specific meaning, and books or lists were used to help both the giver and receiver decipher the intended message.

For example:
Daisy - innocence
Ivy - Fidelity
Lavender - Distrust
Lilac - First Love
**Click here for a longer list**

The Verdict: Love it (don't leaf it)
There is nothing wrong with letting your significant other know you are thinking of them, or how you truly feel. The language of flowers has been lost in translation from the Medieval period into modernity. However, the original meaning a flower carried is not what is important; it is the thought that counts.

It is simply good manners to show up to a date, or a party with flowers. Or to offer flowers as a sign of congratulations or affection. It does not simply have to be a guy giving a girl flowers. Rather friends, women, parents, etc. taking the time to say 'I care' without actually saying it. 

Walking Etiquette

Photo: Couple walking arm in arm

The History:
Historically, swords were sheathed on the right side and hung at a mans waist. This was due to the fact that the majority of people are right handed. It allowed quick access to a person's weapon. Back when danger could be lurking around any corner, or within any passing glance this was important.

The Custom:

The proper way to escort a lady is for the man to offer her his left arm. Thus, freeing up his right arm and allowing him to protect the honor, and safety of his lady friend. This tradition still applies indoors. However, the industrial revolution added a new problem into the equation: cars. 

With the rise of motorized, or wheeled vehicles etiquette had to evolve. It is now considered proper for a man to position himself closest to the street with the female farthest away from the traffic. This would protect her from physical harm, and hopefully any dirt/water splashing up on her clothes.

The Verdict: LOVE IT (runaway success )

I think offering a woman any arm is something worth bringing back, and so I say this act of chivalry deserves a comeback.

It is slightly problematic to assume that women still need to be protected by a male figure. But, I think this is a relatively harmless social custom that doesn't infringe on the autonomy of anyone.


Stay tuned for more. There will be a new post every week!